Wednesday, June 24, 2009

if i were a boy

As I rode the train home last night from work, I couldn't help but get caught up in the conversation three twenty-something boys were having next to me. They were debating who was the most unique super-hero. Was it Batman because he put his super-hero costume on over his daily clothes, vs Spider Man and Superman who seemed to have it always underneath? And which one had the coolest alter-ego? (As if there's any question that it's not Bruce Wayne, right!?) And even which one had the best comic book background? In all honesty, I was sort of fascinated and it took a certain degree of willpower to restrain myself from jumping into the debate.

Now, if this had been three twenty-something girls, you can only imagine what they'd most likely been talking about. Boys. Boys. And probably more boys. Why Chris hadn't texted yet. What Matt meant when he said "I'll call you later". Why Jason was acting strangely. What outfit should be worn on the date with Nate. Whether or not Bryan would wait til this weekend to call. . .
I mean, I can't help but thinking that we're all a little crazy. Always talking about our feelings. Always overanalyzing what was said (and what it really meant). Always being expected to share every detail of every interaction with our twenty closest friends. Most of the time, being a girl is pretty darn amazing. But, girls, you have to admit it, sometimes it's just plain exhausting.

Which is why I guess I sort of pride myself on being a bit of both. It's the best of both worlds, I'd like to believe.

I mean, I'm a girl when I take two hours to get ready. Because I'm having fun trying out new make-up tricks. Or because my hair doesn't look quite right. Or because I just can't find the right thing to wear. Or decide between the three pair of black heels I have sitting in front of me. But I'm a boy when I throw on tennies, a t-shirt and a baseball hat and call it a day. Without thinking twice.

I'm a girl when I turn up the speakers and sing my lungs out to Britney Spears, Taylor Swift or (embarrassingly) Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. But I'm a boy when I'd rather see the newest X-Men movie than a chick flick having to do with weddings. Or love. Or bridesmaids. Or feelings. Or relationships. Or Matthew McConaughey.

I'm a boy when I don't want anyone to interrupt me during the game. And when I start talking sports stats. When I'd rather watch ESPN than another E! special about Speidi or Jessica Simpson. And especially when I'm on the football field and my flag football team is down with 2 minutes left in the game. But I'm a girl when the camera zooms in on Tom Brady and I can't help but swoon.

I'm a girl when I flirt with the boys at the bar. When I'm secretly flattered that he's obviously a bit nervous when he asks for my number. Or when he eventually calls to ask me out. But I'm a boy when I meet someone that I find attractive and interesting and I just want to be the one to take the situation in my hands and call him up.

I'm a girl when I'm in the kitchen baking up a storm. And whenever I watch Casablanca or When Harry Met Sally. Or listen to sappy country songs. I'm a girl when I start to tear up at weddings. When I sit by a toddler on the train and can't help but think about being a mom in the future. And I'm a girl when nothing seems to help but a glass of wine and a good cry.

But I'm a boy when I go two weeks without plucking my eyebrows or painting my nails. I'm a boy when I order a bratwurst and don't care who sees me do it. And when I'm counting down the days until I leave for a camping trip because I love the idea of roughing it for the weekend. I'm a boy when I'm challenged to a dare and my pride won't let me back down. And when I'd rather drink a can of beer than a fancy martini. Even at a cocktail party.

I can't imagine always being girlie; I actually like being a tomboy most of the time. I like being tough enough to take whatever you're going to throw at me, but vulnerable enough to admit when I can't. I like putting on a fancy dress and being told I'm pretty, but I'd much rather put my hair in a ponytail and be told I'm fun. I like going out to a nice dinner every once in a while, but most of the time I'd be just as happy with ordering a pizza.

I'd like to debate the relative uniqueness of super-heros, but I'm probably going to spend a lot of time analyzing what my new guy's text meant. And why he waited two days to send it.

At the end of the day, though, I think Beyonce might be on to something.