couldn't be more true

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times I'm hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

great expectations

Most of her dates were disappointing. Like biting into a cookie expecting to find a chocolate chip, only to find a raisin.

I jotted down this quote in my journal years and years ago. It must have been from some book I was reading at the time, but after all this time has passed I can't even begin to remember what it was, who it was by or what it was about. (Besides maybe a single girl, it would appear.) Apparently it hit a cord with me at the time and resonated yet again when I ran across it last night.

We're always expecting. Expecting things to happen a certain way, to be a certain way, to act a certain way, to taste a certain way. Expecting that delicious looking cookie in front of us to be filled with indulgent chocolate chips, not healthy raisins. We just can't help it. We see something or someone and our mind just starts wondering. Starts supposing. Starts expecting.We probably do this most often when it comes to dating. Anyone who's spent any time being single would have to agree. First impressions are lasting we hear time and time again. We judge people unfairly (whether it's to their benefit or detriment) without even thinking twice.

We learn, often times the hard way, that people are who we expected them to be. Who we imagined them to be at their worst.

But every once in a blue moon someone surprises you. Someone has a way of surpassing your expectations of them. And it's those times, however rare, that keep us holding on to hope.

It's those times that keep us reaching into the cookie jar.

twenty ten

It's pretty plain to see that I’ve been a little bit (okay, a whole lotta bit) delinquent in my postings. I've lost the handful of friends that somehow were conviniced to read this blog every once in a while in the first place. And worst of all, I've lost faith in myself as a writer. A real writer. A writer who writes to be read. Not a writer who scribbles in a journal every couple of days.

But it's 2010. (Okay, it's been 2010 for a month and a half now, but it's never too late to start over, right?) And with the new year, comes a new me. I know, I know. I've said this before. We all have. But a month and half into the year, I think I might be getting there. I've got a new job, a new set of resultions and goals and a renewed determination to propel me along. 2010 is going to be a good year.

What about the last 7 months? Well, let me catch you up. In the last 7 months I:

• Turned 26. (And 26 and a half.)
• Learned that hiring a moving company is the best $200 you will ever spend.
• Completed my first marathon, running the entire way. I even beat my goal time of 4:20 by ten minutes! Crossing that finish line was, by far, one of the coolest experiences of my life so far.
• Watched Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia face off as starting pitchers in the World Series. Unfortunately, neither were playing in an Indians jersey.
• Learned that you have to be careful of people who have hurt you in the past. They may not know how not to hurt you again.
• Realized (over and over again) that I have the 2 greatest brothers in the world. They've set a really high bar for other guys in my life.
• Learned that now more than ever I know I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. No matter how great they are.
• Found a new appreciation for a $5 bottle of Andre champagne. (Who says Mimosas are only for brunch?)
• Saw my first 3D movie. (Seriously!)
• Realized that I like seeing everyone wearing the goofy 3D glasses more than I actually like watching the movie in 3D.
• Baked what feels like a truckload of cupcakes, mostly red velet. Yummy!
• Watched the Colts throw away a potential perfect season. In person. (I really could have gone my whole life without ever seeing Curtis Painter play live.)
• Quit the first and only real job I've ever had and said goodbye to the most amazing co-workers.
• Started a bright, shiny new job and said hello to some potentially equally great co-workers.
• Learned how important it is to have a strong mind and a soft heart. (Thanks Maya Angelou.)
  

I'm sure that's not everything, but it's something. Something to get you from there to here.

And so we're here.

Yes, 2010 is going to be a good year. And if it's not entirely good? Well, then I'm going to learn a couple things along the way.

Cheers!